Title: Roy G. Biv

Takeaway: Somewhere under the rainbow.

Seat: Back

Logged: 24 Jun 15 (Wednesday in the PM)

Copyright:

Time: 2 minutes

Replies: 8

Revisions: 8

Publicity: Superfeed

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You said you were up all night. I asked you what you were doing with your morning, “Going home to sleep?” You reached your head far in front of mine. Pointing with your arm way out, you said, “You see those?” I looked at the white lines on the road in front of us. Responding to me but aiming your words at some people walking across them, you yelled, “Well I paint those. Thank you very much.” You were talking as if over some heavy machinery. “Roadwork,” I thought to myself.

I thought I’d squeeze in some things I assumed I knew about it. I asked you what you thought about “smarter highways.” You said, “What do you mean, like ones with no people on them?” Except you didn’t say “people.” I liked your laugh. I repeated everything I’d read and remembered about dynamic paint and interactive lights, and then you said, “Yeah, where? On Mars? I won’t even go upstate. See what I do if they ask me to go out there again.” You said you liked working “the runway.”

I said it was probably better to work at night. You shouted from behind, “Yeah right. You know those lights at the ballpark? Well climb up there and sit right in front of ’em for eight hours. Makes the sun feel like a light bulb.” Your skin was the color of an orange backhoe.

I kept on. “So what are you up to for the rest of the day?” “Well,” you yelled, “I’m going to start with a Bloody Mary, and then make my way right through the rainbow.” I had to think about it — ROY G BIV. I said, “So I guess that means a Screwdriver’s next,” thinking of what was orange. Then you let me have it. “What do I look like, your prom date? Gin and Sin, brother.” We went back and forth like this for a while. Then things got Oprah. You told me you were working on being a pilot, “but life called, and it just won’t hang up.” You asked if life had called me yet, too.

Later that evening I was approaching a complete standstill on the highway, and there was a lot of orange up ahead. “Construction, next two miles.” The sun had just set, and storm clouds were closing in over a sky the color of crème de violette. I wondered where you were, and if you had shot your way through that rainbow.

Revisions

Horse » Authorship
Elk » 8:47 AM 04 Feb 18
Elk » 12:06 AM 22 Dec 17
Elk » 9:10 PM 13 Feb 16
Horse » 5:26 PM 22 Jan 16
Elk » 9:07 PM 05 Jan 16
Elk » 9:06 PM 05 Jan 16
Horse » 4:58 PM 16 Nov 15

The Thread (8)

 Author's voice in grey. 

  1. Superior – I laughed, I cried, etc.

    I made a couple of changes. I moved the “roadwork” line up one sentence to the end of that first paragraph so the rider’s hollers were matched back-to-back with the description of his voice, and so the subject of your inquiries were matched back-to-back with your thoughts (though appropriately broken with a paragraph in the latter case).

    And at the end, I knocked off the aviation and question mark thing and went with a slight pun that ties together the “over the rainbow”, “pilot dream”, and “drinking alcohol” threads.

  2. Cut “some” from “some heavy machinery”.

    Cut the last line from the first paragraph and the first line from the second paragraph.

    Your skin was DayGlo orange? Or dayglo? Or day-glo?

    Cut “thinking of what was orange” and “Then”.

    Change to “a crème de violette sky”.

    A little long, but mostly necessary.

    I feel like I’ve met this person at least half a dozen times in my life.

  3. Could the character be the color of a safety vest? A parking cone?

  4. I liked backhoe for its roughness — but agree some kind of construction-orange might be a better fit.

    Agree with all of Bear’s suggestions except am reserving judgement on “thinking of what was orange” for the time being.

  5. I like backhoe too, but having to specify its color seems to defeat the purpose. Though there is a specific color that comes to mind with “orange backhoe.” It’s not fluorescent. It’s darker, yet warmer.

    Damn.

  6. There’s a construction, heavy equipment orange, no? There’s green, light green, yellow and orange. Orange I tell you.

  7. I’m sticking with orange backhoe, too. It’s the orange you want to convey here, and in proper context — plus the roughness.

  8. So good.

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