Title: No Passengers
Subtext: Getting there and being there.
Author:
Date: 13 May 15 (Wednesday in the AM)
Copyright:
Time: Less than a minute
Replies: 5
Revisions: 4
Publicity: Superfeed
Upfeed:

A distant roar

And rumbling underneath the boards

Steaming past this freezing fort

Moving on through the mild frontier

To the engineer’s sing-song reverie.

 

I’ll be back by Halloween for sure!

Follow me I’m a freak

Casey Jones for a week

Off my gourd!

 

C’mon get on the train!

The speed will set you free today!

You can handle anything.

 

Magazines and candy wrappers on the floor:

Mars Bars, a tossed Timeout New York.

Hey, I’m one for reading trash but ain’t got time to check which band

Is in the club this week.

 

‘Cause there’s that crazed conductor screaming, “All aboard!

Albany! Rensaleah!”

This train is leaving.

Better bust past those machines

And blow that surplus on the surcharge at the seat.

 

‘Cause I can’t be late.

So I’m fumbling through my change

As I’m racing to the gate.

 

Almost flew into a rage

When I heard that crackling

Speaker sing,

 

“No passengers.”

Revisions

Falcon » Authorship
Elk » 2:41 PM 13 May 15
Elk » 10:23 AM 13 May 15

The Thread (5)

 Author's voice in grey. 

  1. Reminds me of the little I’ve read from John Dos Passos’ U.S.A. Trilogy. It’s got a 30s vibe going on (maybe the idea of picking up the newspaper, maybe just the train in general). Nice.

  2. Very nice — transporting to trainspotting.

    Relatable:

    And blow that surplus on the surcharge at the seat.

  3. We’re always going to be able to have punctuation/formatting discussions with pieces like this, i.e. whether freeform is the way to go or whether there should be a readily discernible structure. It’s a toss up to me, though I’m a sucker for structure and consistency.

  4. This pairs well with Eva Ness.

  5. To the engineer’s sing-song reverie.

    I wonder if engineers (or even pilots for that matter) develop that voice or actually work on it beforehand, like in a class.

    Also, this reminds me of being the sole passenger on a train. There’s something different about it.

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