Title: Merger & Dissolution
Subtext: An impromptu business meeting on the city street.
Author:
Date: 11 Feb 15 (Wednesday in the AM)
Copyright:
Time: 1 minute
Replies: 23
Revisions: 4
Publicity: Workshop
Downfeed:

I was on the street the other day, walking along eating a sandwich when a guy came up and offered me a hundred grand for it. He was famished, he said, and in a hurry, late for a big meeting, a merger of something or a dissolution of something else. He was well dressed – pinstriped suit, bright red tie, gold cufflinks. His hair was salt and pepper, slicked back like he had just driven very fast in a convertible, and his eyes were well-hidden behind large aviator sunglasses. I decided to haggle. After all, I was hungry and had waited behind three people to get this particular sandwich, and was in the middle of enjoying it immensely. Three hundred thousand, I said, in hopes of getting two. Cars passed at high speeds on either side of us, and we proceeded to partake in a high stakes negotiation that would make the Louisiana Purchase look like a deal for a mid-ninties Accord. We were close, very close, and I could taste victory, when suddenly and from out of nowhere, a passing bicyclist, flying by at top speed, made me jump a little, and my sandwich, my future, fell to city street.

Revisions

Bear » Authorship
Bear » 11:04 PM 12 Feb 15
Bear » 10:03 AM 11 Feb 15
Elk » 8:35 AM 11 Feb 15
Bear » 7:47 AM 11 Feb 15

The Thread (23)

 Author's voice in grey. 

  1. Been there. One note on word choice: I don’t there is actually such thing as a salt and pepper “hue”.

  2. Thought that might get called out. Suggestions?

    I changed it to just “his hair was salt and pepper” for now.

  3. That’s what Bear would tell Elk to write anyway. Probably an improvement. You could say tinted salt and pepper.

  4. Apparently “hue” can also mean “kind or type,” and doesn’t necessarily have to reflect the technical aspects of color.

    Still, it’s probably better without.

  5. How did I get stuck with that rep? I made one suggestion to remove poetics from a particular story.

  6. Good rep.

  7. I’d like for peole to think of me as being known as the guy we think of when we think of a guy with a good rep.

  8. I love the 1983 businessman caricature — somehow consistently juxtapositioned with “mid-nineties Accord”, and as universal today as it was then.

  9. Good call on ’83. Dude’s got a Pac-Man machine in his rec room.

  10. Good work on the title, too.

  11. @bear — Maybe take out “very close” re: cyclist. And maybe add “the” to “city street”. Makes it feel even more disappointing.

  12. I like the paralell between the “very close” of the deal and the bicylist, but you’re probably right.

    “City street” rather than “the city street” is that wretched poetic thing we just encountered. And like you, I’m sticking with it.

  13. I figured — fair.

  14. so much depends
    upon

    what kind of sandwich
    it was

    spread with mustard
    or dry

    on the city
    street

  15. Mustard sandwich on rye

    With

    Roast

    Beast.

  16. In that case, we have a problem.

  17. 10% premium for horseradish in the mustard.

  18. With cars passing on either side, are you standing in the median strip? On the double orange lines or single white dashes? There’s a shifting degree of intensity dependent on how I envisage this thing.

  19. I envision it as Tremont Street, next to the Common, just before it intersects Boylston. It’s a four lane one-way mess.

    But I wasn’t intending anything so specific in the piece. It’s just “the street.” I’m relying in your having been there, to a degree. The point is that this is no place to stand, much less engage in business.

  20. The Boston Massacre took place at a similarly chaotic intersection, not too far away. There’s some deeper wisdom going on here.

  21. I assure you that’s not the case.

  22. If you haven’t read it and can find it, check out William Austin’s Peter Rugg: the Missing Man for more on the Massacre.

  23. Just read it. I’ll never curse the weather on my way home again.

New Reply


Rooster Land
Verses & Vignettes &c.

Encapsulation

Rooster Land is a property of Collate LLC. It has been 1843 days since we began.

Nota Bene

"If a novel was a map of a country, a story was the bright silver pin that marked the crossroads." – Ann Patchett