Title: Green Beads
Subtext: Passing mastication.
Author:
Date: 14 Sep 15 (Monday in the AM)
Copyright:
Time: 1 minute
Replies: 10
Revisions: 2
Publicity: Workshop

I go with two dogs into a field. Sheep are in the field. The dogs jump up on me, and I do not know how to get them down. They are large dogs. They have long nails, which scratch me. They bite me. The bites are playful at first. The bites grab my arms. The dogs do not break skin, but they almost break skin. And they do break skin. It feels as if their saliva stings me, but that cannot be right. They gnaw on my arms. My arms are bleeding—from my forearms down to my fingers. I try to get the two dogs off me, but they will not get off me. The sheep are in a clump on one end of the field. When I first got to this place, I was afraid of the sheep. The dogs jump on me. As I try to get one off me, the other gets me. They do not snarl. They have that smiley look that dogs have. They have that smiley look as they go for my hands. They bite my hands and my forearms and snap at my face. I fall, and they are both at me. One feels to be burrowing into my stomach. I feel it snap at my stomach, and, instead of it feeling as though a dog is trying to bite into my stomach, it feels as though something is tunneling deep inside me and trying to get out. I am on the ground, in the field. The sheep are nearby, dribbling their hard shit. Their beautiful hard shit that is green and shiny at first. Later in the day, it dries and becomes black. The sheep will be brought in later. There are two lambs amongst them.

Revisions

Myna » June 24, 2016 @ 07:38:22 [Current Revision]
Elk » September 14, 2015 @ 07:47:44

The Thread (10)

 Author's voice in grey. 

  1. Even as the narrator and scene present distantly in time and place, the narration comes off as immediate and I appreciate that heat! Curious about the goat tag. Welcome, Myna!

  2. Quite a read — rare like this in The Land. I was tempted immediately to cut in and edit out the repetition, and break it up into paragraphs, and to make it more logically consistent. But that’s just my style and this is definitely its own thing with its own effect. It’s more art than story on an X, Y plotter.

  3. Oh, no. I did not mean to put goats there. For some reason, I was compelled to tag them — and now I’ll remove them!

  4. Nice to hear from you, Falcon.

    Your feedback is helpful to me, Elk.

  5. I actually liked the idea of goats appearing only by tag.

  6. Reads just the way dreams are described. Nice capture.

  7. Good call, @rabbit.

  8. This piece didn’t sit well at first, which is what gave it its appeal. When I read something new, I’m often trying to make sense of it, too much sense actually, at the same time, which often just gets in the way of receiving it. Midway through, I let go of my expectations and desires – those parts of me that get pissed off when things don’t scratch me where I itch, but instead create new itches – and just let it be. It’s an engaging read, after all. @rabbit makes a good point too. Reminds me that I should never go reading alone.

  9. Captures my experience exactly, @horse.

  10. Yeah. To extend the dream idea, for me, the piece lacks the internal logic of the actual dream, but instead captures the feel of something foreign so distinct to the description of the dream, which seems itself inextricably linked to the dream itself as a result of the awake mind trying to capture that internal logic. It’s a reality of its own which the description here accurately tries to piece together with short forms of sequential detail. It reads weird, for me anyway, as it only can.

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