(The frozen food section. A woman in sensible slacks pushes an empty cart through the aisle, searching for something she hasn’t seen in the freezers and simultaneously looking around the aisles. A heavy set female clerk carrying a price check gun walks by, humming along to the elevator music.)
Hi, can I help yooou? (exaggerated smile)
Yes, hi, I’m looking for frozen ravioli. And I seem to have lost my husband. He was wearing a blue flannel shirt.
Oh, sure, follow me.
(Together they walk aisle after aisle of assorted frozen boxes. Finally they turn to a freezer, heavily coated in ice. The heavy set clerk motions.)
The ravioli is in the next aisle, but here’s your husband. (Cut to man in freezer, fully in ice.)
Thank you. Now can you tell me where I can find space heaters?
Sure, follow me.
(Cut to moments before above scene)
Greg Brady wearing a blue flannel in hardware. A robust, chesty lumberjack of a clerk with a square pencil behind his ear is leaning back on a counter, arms crossed, eyeballing the customer.
Yes, in fact. I’m restoring a Lancia-Abarth Quadriflux and I’m having an issue.
Let me guess – the inlet valve port is caked up and you’re not getting consistency in your spark plug.
That’s it, essentially. They really crammed the plug in there.
I’ll say, but given the crossed cylinders I don’t know where else it would go.
Don’t get me started. Have any suggestions?
Well, we have a nanoparticulate requonometer that some guys will use to test the plug while it’s installed. Have you taken any heat readings?
I did two week’s worth, every fifteen minutes for five hours a day. Last week I used a warm salt bath as well.
Everything checks out normal. By the way, I’m looking for my wife? Can you tell me where the frozen food section is?