Title: Colonnadium
Subtext: Midtown Direct.
Author:
Date: 16 Oct 15 (Friday in the PM)
Copyright:
Time: 2 minutes
Replies: 27
Revisions: 46
Publicity: Superfeed

From within and without, the voice of a fathomless deep pervades and contains us, inhabiting but unstruck by the reflexes it animates. Surrounding the temporal plane on all sides, from above and below, the sacred heart of the living observes life in four dimensions with a mysterious concern. Some call this the Beings of the Spirit World, but it is ourselves.

Doubtful though, that this is the only personal life native to the esoteric realms, or that there arches a single firmament, or that spirituality and physicality are two possibilities in a binary system. So some confusion then, as to who or what we are referring when we talk about these things naturally arises, and may obfuscate revelations, especially between visionaries.

For the sake of narrative clarity then, we shall hereafter call the ethereal place we now speak of, Spirit World-1. Married to the karmic wheel at every radial point without effect, Spirit World-1 is an infinity adjacent everywhere to our own.

In the more immediate environment, which we’ll call “Regs”, data points are sticky; the vortex of spit, the stifled vocal eruptions edging off the last consonant of every onrushing syllable, the way the word, “again!” broke the pattern of each incensed ex post facto prohibition like a period preceded by a brutal grace note, completing the command while almost simultaneously demanding its repetition, the wild loops tornadoing through her bedroom, back hand and palm in their wake, the apparent total loss of reason belied by the consciousness not to bruise, the monster inside the artist of her safety, unleashed upon her like the Cracken, piercing the ocean of her childhood modernity. “You – never – talk – that – way – to – your mother – again! You – never – talk – that – way – to – your mother – again!” These moments of focus became the chosen samples from which the character wave of Mandy to Mandy was drawn.

But in the rarefactions of herself, the swinging balance of circus mirrors could resemble that undulating back trunk of her older brother’s 1987 Buick Cougar, two weeks after the raw hamburger meat was left and forgotten by an impossibly kind girlfriend, until, for a moment like now, Mandy was able to glimpse what filled her cup of chatter, and the whole disgusting mess was exposed to be the sublimely knotting floor of a great grange, hosting our cosmic contra dance. The smartly woven design revealed an impelling force manifest in the pattern, as she nearly mistook the synchronicity for a compelling order.

Opening her eyes as she felt her seat sink in slight seesaw, she moved both knees to the left, clearing a path for the man who hung now hunched over her right side with an intentional smile, one arm on the luggage rack above them both.

“Station Stop is Newark Broad Street. Change here for the Gladstone branch, Morris and Essex, trains to Dover. Hoboken train directly across the platform. New York Penn next.”

Revisions

Falcon » Authorship
Falcon » 8:09 PM 08 Jun 19
Falcon » 8:41 PM 27 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:48 AM 26 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:41 AM 26 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:04 AM 26 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:01 AM 26 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:56 AM 26 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:50 AM 26 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:57 PM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:17 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:14 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:12 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 9:05 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:57 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:49 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:42 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:41 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:40 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:37 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:16 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 8:13 AM 23 Jun 17
Falcon » 1:24 PM 03 Apr 16
Falcon » 1:18 PM 03 Apr 16
Falcon » 11:07 PM 17 Oct 15
Falcon » 9:18 AM 17 Oct 15
Falcon » 10:38 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 9:24 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 9:23 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 9:22 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 9:18 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 9:14 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 9:09 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 9:06 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 8:53 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 8:48 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 8:43 PM 16 Oct 15
Elk » 8:24 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 6:26 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 6:02 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 5:51 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 5:49 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 5:39 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 5:38 PM 16 Oct 15
Falcon » 5:37 PM 16 Oct 15

The Thread (27)

 Author's voice in grey. 

  1. This is awesome –

    Married to the karmic wheel at every radial point without effect, Spirit World-1 is an infinity adjacent everywhere to our own.

    Still reading.

  2. This is a pile of lines worth calling out – my favs in chronological order:

    The monster inside the artist of her safety, unleashed upon her the Cracken piercing the shroud of modernity, when gods appeared as men, and men as gods.

    Then all the stuff about maggots.

    They were the rarefaction of her pretend self, as the balanced and swinging circus of mirrors resembled that undulating back trunk of her 1987 Buick Cougar, two weeks after the raw hamburger meat was left and forgotten by a possibly kind boyfriend.

    . . . the whole disgusting mess is exposed to be the sublimely knotting floor of a great karmic grange hosting a cosmic contra dance. The smartly woven design revealed an impelling force manifest in the pattern, as she nearly mistook the synchronicity for a compelling order.

    It’s vintage Falcon – densely composed, insightfully drawn, and unworldly worded, i.e. wordy.

    I get something from it – the everywhere not here, and how a weave of maggots can reveal a point of entry to its codified patterns of truth.

    Fact, physical, immaterial, immortal.

  3. Was a little hung up on why Spirit World has to be Spirit World-1. Is this a parallel universe thing? Also, what’s Colonadium?

  4. Vintage Falcon indeed. I need to read this several more times before I might have anything worth saying, but in the meantime I’ll add that until today I didn’t realize that grace notes can be brutal. But of course they can be brutal, and what a sort of brutal that can be.

  5. Some nice changes in the latest revision. I’d say use semicolons instead of commas to break the distinct items in that enormous sentence-paragraph ending with “men as gods.”

  6. @elk

    Thanks for asking that question. Because I was struggling to find my way into this piece until you pointed out Spirit Earth-1. It’s so specific, that name. Its specificity is its most important quality.

    So I started following the other specific things in the piece. There’s “Regs” and the word “again” and the Cracken and the existence of a specific (but unstated) mythology and then Mandy. The specifics pile up once Mandy is introduced: the 87 Buick Cougar and time and a particular memory and physical existence and on and on until, by the end of it, we’re with a specific person in a specific place at a specific time.

    It’s a spiral of information that resolves on a train. I like that journey.

    I also really like how the first paragraph is full of adjective pairs. It sets up a powerful, ticking rhythm — and an almost atomic motion — that carries the reader into and through the rest of the piece.

  7. Thanks animals. Does anyone second the semicolon suggestion? I think I prefer to begin a list of clauses with one, but separate them with commas. I’m open though. Semicoloning is dark art.

    @elk, parallel universes do not exist. The language is a paradox. Like “splitting the atom”. What a waste of a divine postulate. We should be expanding the vocabulary not dumbing down the concepts. Mandy is teaching me this.

    The second paragraph should explain the name “Spirit World-1”. Still unclear?

    Thanks @mako for the analysis. I appreciate the mindful reading.

    I got to thinking earlier about the @rabbit point on narrator gender v. character elsewhere. There is mention of “kiddos” in another Mandy piece. I wondered how that related to gender questions re: moms and dads in the recent @mako piece.

  8. Mako’s a better reader than I am – which is likely to mean Mako’s better at something else, too.

  9. Didn’t mean to imply other animal’s readings were not as appreciated. Hope that goes without saying.

  10. Still not sure why Spirit World-1 isn’t just Spirit World.

    Also, is this right:

    where to the free people write home the unpeople

    Or should it be this:

    where the free people write home to the unpeople

    I made that change earlier thinking it was a typo. I must be having a bad day because I don’t get the logic of that line, either. I had another logic blip on a Rabbit piece earlier today.

  11. Definitely does go without saying, Falcon. I was feeling that about Mako’s reading when I read the comment in isolation from the piece or the thread a few hours ago.

  12. Because there may be other so-called spirit worlds that get confused with what is being discussed here?

    Good question on the syntax. It’s tortured isn’t it? I’d originally wrote it the way you suggest but that seemed to indicate Spirit World-1 is where the free people are writing from. But it’s where they are writing to. Help me better phrase?

  13. I guess there may be other SWs, but it would seem you could get away with calling it SW plain and simple because it seems to be the spherical infinite you’re describing, so really it could be the one and only, as you say, universe.

    Weird about the free/unpeople. I thought the free people would be in the SW and the unpeople would be roaming here, the erstwhile home of the free people – almost like a heaven and earth thing.

  14. Will you reread paragraph 2 and tell me if your question about SW is answered? It’s a direct preemptive response.

  15. My opinion about the semicolon depends on what you’d prefer the effect to be, @falcon. If you want those images and actions to be arranged on an equal plane, like runners at the blocks, then I think semicolons are the way to go. They force the reader to read the list as a list. But if you’d prefer the paragraph to be more phantasmagoric, a whirl of images, then I think the commas are fine.

    Again, that’s my take on it.

    As for “kiddos,” allow me to be honest. Unless told otherwise, I will always assume the word “kiddo” is being spoken by a mother. But that assumption is based on a stupid reason: the first time I saw the word was in a Calvin & Hobbes comic, and it was spoken by Calvin’s mom. It’s locked in as a “mom word” now.

    Which maybe makes the piece I posted much, much weirder.

    There’s certainly a relationship between language and issues of gender, race, sexuality, etc. That relationship can sometimes be intimate, and it can sometimes be extremely casual. I think, like most things, it depends on context.

  16. I’ve re-read it three times. There haven’t been any changes to it, as far as I can tell. I think what you’re saying is something like, “Hey everybody, there are likely to be lots of ways to think about SWs, so I won’t infringe upon yours by calling this one SW-1.”

  17. Word. Thank you. Something like that, yes. But paragraph 1 attempts to set it up as a misnomer at the same time, which goes to your earlier point about universality.

  18. Word @mako. Thanks.

  19. No problem. And sorry for interrupting your conversation, Elk and Falcon. I need to get quicker with my comments!

  20. De nada. Elk and Falcon will go on and on. Best to interrupt at any opportunity.

  21. Looks like some reasonable tweaking — though I have always been skeptical of attempts to capture annunciation in formatting/spelling. Seems one may do well to simply say, “stressing the second syllable of again” instead of capitalizing the letter G, or whathaveyou.

  22. @elk — Knew you would call that out. Agree with you 100% that the capital is not how to do it. Don’t want to describe it a second time. I want the cadence to give body to the earlier description. Other thoughts, maybe “a’gain”?

  23. Late to the party. Spirit World-1 seems to be, in my mind, a way of closing the gap between it and ours, positing that they’re not so far apart. That seems to be among the major points of the piece, as far as I can tell.

    I don’t know that semicolons are used to introduce lists, though I’ve occasionally seen older works “misuse” semicolons, linking independent and dependent clauses. I suppose you can do anything you like. And to be honest, with everything else going on here, I had to go back and look for it. Hard to detect subtleties in such a dense wood.

    But that is vintage Falcon. Dense, subtle, maybe just a little maddening. I’ll understand this all in about three weeks.

  24. Sort of reminds me of Borges’ The Circular Ruins, about a man conjuring his character from the ether.

  25. This:

    Semicoloning is dark art.

    Do we lolz in RL?

  26. And here:

    @elk, parallel universes do not exist. The language is a paradox. Like “splitting the atom”. What a waste of a divine postulate. We should be expanding the vocabulary not dumbing down the concepts.

    Lolz.

  27. Speaking of the tyranny of trending (tot?), thanks @elk @bear for slicing up this day-old bread with me. I think it’s unlocked now.

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